Random Thoughts

How often as people we question ourselves about life. We question our thoughts and feelings. We try to decided on judgement calls on your passion of life. You question yourself  if your making the right decision. You fight battles with yourself especially after the trauma and tragedy  you endure. You have many different mental health  situations such as depression,  anxiety,  and PTSD.  You have trust issues, insecurities,  and question people about  their agendas of be friends,  lover and trying just be an associate . Many times you feel as if you want to let  your walls down but you triple question yourself  for all the drama you had in the last set of situations when letting people in your circle. Many nights you have nightmares of flashbacks from your past. How are you suppose to move forward and always feel  like you going twenty steps back. I know that we are in our  healing  process  and we suppose to stay positive through pain,but the question is  when is it going end or will it ever end.  I just want to be pure again with no anger, no anxiety, no depression, and no PTSD. I just want  be free of all the the pain and disappointment. I just want to love without pain behind my heart  and soul. Open my eyes know that my thoughts would never be dark ever again. Love with no care in the world. I would  continue to a better me and I will be stronger  than I ever  been before. That's just random thoughts of so many lovers and friends.